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In sharp contrast, the high support high demand stance we recommend avoids the errors of overprotectiveness, bullying, or laissezfaire inherent in the other stances. It implies a vigorous, supportive, playful, carefully intrusive, somewhat challenging attitude. This attitude shows itself in an intolerance of the child disappearing. Such withdrawals can be combated by getting in the child's face, by cautiously aggravating in a variety of ways by putting the child's shirt half on so he or she has to struggle to find where the arms go, by putting one sock on the child and forgetting to put the other on, by forgetting to give the spoon the child needs to eat the soup, by getting in the child's way or accidentally bumping into him or her as he or she tries to walk past or over the parent or professional, and so forth. This attitude, we suggest, in concert with appropriate interventions, is most likely to lead to substantial gains in all areas.
Another current feeding the Victorian ideal of the passionless woman was the rise of the Evangelical movement in the United States between 1790s and 1900s. Within this movement, rooted in Protestantism, there was no distinction between mortal and venial sins. Accordingly, all sexual acts were sins per se, unless for the purpose of procreation. Promoting of Christian values and virtues contributed to the transformation of women from sexual to moral beings responsible for the upbringing of future generations (51). In this role, churchmen such as Rev. John Todd (1800-1873) used their pulpits to bully women into exercising sexual restraint as proof of their moral and noble character. Pulpits no less than manuals, pamphlets, and exhortations were used to spread the masturbation phobia throughout the 19th century (36,58).
The insight that a disturbed sense of self is closely related to disturbed relationships with others helps us understand puzzling findings reported by researchers. High self-esteem, that is, thinking that you are a worthwhile person, is generally a healthy characteristic. High self-esteem has its down side, though. For one thing, people with high self-esteem sometimes take on tasks that are too difficult, apparently trying to prove how much they can do (Baumeister, Heatherton, & Tice, 1993). They also may persist too long at tasks that cannot be finished and are prone to other self-defeating behaviors (Baumeister, 1997a). Surprisingly, it has also been found that people with high self-esteem may also be more aggressive than other people (Baumeister, Smart, & Boden, 1996). Why One factor to consider is that self-esteem is operationally defined as a person's score on a self-report measure. Some people who score high on such measures truly accept who they are, but others have a fragile,...
Bullying Bullying is an all-too-common experience for many children and adolescents, affecting as many as half of all children at some time during their school years. At least 10 percent of all children are bullied on a regular basis. Bullying behavior can be physical or verbal, and can occur anywhere at home, at school, on the playground, and even in online chat rooms and through e-mail. Victims of this torment experience real suffering that can interfere with social and emotional development, as well as school performance. Some victims of bullying have even attempted suicide rather than continue to endure such harassment and punishment. A bully thrives on controlling or dominating others and often has been the victim of physical abuse or bullying himself. Bullies also may be depressed, angry, or upset about events at school or at home. Children who are bullied also tend to fit a particular profile of being passive, easily intimidated, and having few friends. Victims may be smaller...
It is not uncommon for people with epilepsy, especially children, to develop behavioral and emotional problems. Sometimes these problems are caused by embarrassment or frustration associated with epilepsy. Other problems may result from bullying, teasing, or avoidance in school and other social settings. In children, these problems can be minimized if parents encourage a positive outlook and independence, do not reward negative behavior with unusual amounts of attention, and try to stay attuned to their child's needs and feelings. Families must learn to accept and live with the seizures without blaming or resenting the affected person. Counseling services can help families cope with epilepsy in a positive manner. Epilepsy support groups
An empirical study of couples provides evidence that social power determines interpersonal behavior. The strategies people use to influence their intimate partners were found to vary with the person's structural strength or weakness in the relationship, as indicated by income, education, and age. The more powerful member of a couple was more likely to use bullying and autocratic tactics to influence the partner, whereas the weaker partner was more likely to use supplication and manipulation. This association held for both heterosexual and homosexual couples. In the former, the more powerful partner was usually the male, but it was power, rather than sex or gender role, that best predicted behavior (Howard, Blumstein, & Schwartz, 1986).